As 30 quickly approaches, I’ve been doing much internal searching.
Regrets, people/things I’m thankful for, choices I’ve made…
One of the things I’ve thought a lot about lately is a girl who I grew up with.
We actually went to Kindergarten together, but she went to a different school for a couple years. She came back once that school combined with ours when we were in the 4th grade.
I don’t really remember if we became friends right away, or if it took a little bit. I just remember at some point, we were practically sisters.
We looked similar, so we even started dressing the same. I know one day we even confused our teacher from the back, and we thought that was great.
We spent birthdays together (especially since they were so close together), so many sleepovers, I feel like we shared almost everything.
She is the one who introduced me to the movie Blue Crush… and Alfredo sauce…maybe even Cool Whip on cake?
We used to spy on my sisters when they would come home from dates.
We had even mastered the Parent Trap handshake.
But one day in Jr. High, something happened. I don’t remember what, and honestly…I don’t think I want to remember (so I really hope she doesn’t). I’m sure it was some stupid, petty, childish argument that neither of us could let go of.
I do remember lots of crying (from both of us) and most likely venting to moms or other friends. From that day on, nothing was the same with us.
That’s the problem with a small town though. We still had to see each other every day. I remember in high school basically just being civil to her.
I don’t really have an excuse for that, except for the fact that high school was horrible for me. After getting sick my freshman year, I was in excruciating pain for the next few years, physically and mentally. I just didn’t care enough about anything to try and mend an old friendship.
For that, I’m so very sorry.
I’m sorry for every horrible thing I ever said to her, or about her.
She is a beautiful person, inside and out, and no one deserves that.
However, I will also be eternally grateful to her. She taught me so many things…like fun ways to do my hair, and to be confident in whatever I wear, to not be afraid to be different.
Because of her, my childhood was amazing. It was full of laughter, friendship, pure fun…and dancing.
To Addy, I hope 30 brings you all the joy in the world, and that you keep loving coffee.
Thank you for once being my best friend.
Love, Smiley Martin ♥