I have loved the blog www.theminimalists.com for a long time.
I love their way of life.
Just recently Netflix made a documentary about them and that lifestyle.
Tonight, I am watching it.
One reason I never want to go Black Friday shopping; I never want to be a part of a herd of cattle. Seriously. Look at a video, or a picture of a store during Black Friday. They are a herd of cattle. Storming through small doors. Running into each other. It’s a mess and I want no part of it.
“Why the hell are you so happy?”
That question kills me. It’s such a strange concept. Happiness. It’s like an elusive leprechaun who keeps running away with your pot of gold.
I’m happy in certain aspects of my life.
I like our apartment. It makes me happy, but only for now. I feel okay saying that. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in an apartment and I know we won’t. Someday we will buy a house. A house that we will be able to afford.
I like certain parts of my job. The fact that I work with mostly women. That this job will help us pay off debt. Once our debt is gone we will see what comes next. I didn’t go to college so I don’t really have a “career.” I enjoy writing, taking pictures, and experimental cooking. Someday I will be a mom and that will take up most of my time. I say that there are things that our kids will, and will not do. I will be making a list before we have them so I can see how differently things will actually turn out. It will be very entertaining.
I love my husband. It’s taking time to get used to our life though. It’s hard. It’s very hard to go from single-dom, to a duo, a pair, a teammate. We have been married for a little over a year and honestly, sometimes I forget that I am married. Not in a horrible, ruin a relationship way. Oh hell no. I will forever be faithful to my husband. It’s in a way that I forget about this other person when I think about making plans. When I think “hmm..what will I do tonight, what should I eat tonight.” I don’t know when that mentality will change, but I know it will someday.
Justin has a much more…relaxed view of our marriage, in a good way. I want to do stuff with him 24/7. I want him to always spend time with me, to always talk to me. This weekend I realized something. We will (hopefully) spend the next 60+ years together. We don’t have to spend time together, all the time. Today was a day off of work, thanks to Christmas. So instead of going into his office every 10 minutes to see what he is doing, I did my own thing. It was nice and I’m sure he enjoyed it much more than what I normally do. It felt really good.
“Because you can do anything, you can potentially do everything you want. But to do everything you want, you have to sacrifice the things that are important.”
I want to do everything.
Justin says that is one of my flaws. I have so many things I want to do that I am unable to focus on any of them. It was very hard to hear from him. I don’t know why. If a friend would have told me that, I would have shrugged it off, not cared. Having it come from my husband, the one person who knows me almost better than myself, it flipped a switch in my head. Oh man, it is hard to change that though. I still have trouble focusing on just one thing.
I hate to say that he is right…but, he is. About so many things. My husband is my hero in so many ways, even though I don’t tell him that. His head is already big enough. He doesn’t care what people think of him, he loves what he loves, he says what he thinks. It’s an inspiration. In reality, he doesn’t own very much stuff. The stuff he does have, he loves. He hasn’t actually bought new clothes, except for jeans, since I have known him. I am the buyer of the family. I wish I wasn’t. This is also something I am trying to change.
I am trying to calm, and focus myself. Figure out what is important and what I love to do. I have so many shoes. Shoes shoes shoes. I love shoes. Do you know how many pairs of those shoes I actually wear? Maybe 5. I own several pairs of high heels. Do you know the last time I wore them? Over a year ago. So why do I still own them? Because I want to be that girl, that wife, that dresses up for work, or for a date in some sexy heels. High heels are so incredibly painful for me. Excruciating. If I would actually wear a pair of them for an hour, I would still feel it two days later.
There are so many things I have done because of other people. This person has a big ring, so I need one. This person wears these kinds of clothes, so I need to. This person has this kind of phone, so I need one too. And yet…sometimes I try so hard to not be like someone else that I end up not even being myself. I end up with things I don’t really like, and things I don’t really need.
I am always thinking of the “what ifs.” What if I would need that box later? What if I really would need to wear that skirt? What if I really want to watch that movie again?
No! No more what ifs. This is now. I need to focus on that.
Focus on the important things. Like family, and friends. Cultivating relationships with people that I actually care about. Doing things that I am actually interested in. 2017 is going to be a great year with a lot of great changes. I look forward to it.
“Love people and use things.” – The Minimalists.
The movie was great. It really made me think about my life.
Really hoping this all made sense, ♥ The Rebel