The definition: feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune.
Yet, I apologize for everything.
Even when the word sorry doesn’t apply.
If I almost bump into someone in a hallway, “Oops, sorry!”
Instead I could say something like, “Please excuse me.”
If I make Justin wait for me in the parking lot at work, I say sorry.
If I don’t know the answer to a question..sorry.
If I don’t want to do something…sorry.
I think you get the picture. I don’t have an actual number but I want to guess that I say it at least, at least, 20 times a day, probably more.
Why? Why do I feel the need to apologize? Am I apologizing for my presence in the world? Does anyone ever apologize that much to me? No! Men rarely feel the need to apologize, so why do women?
Saying sorry that much makes me feel guilty.
It creates a pit in my stomach. A pit of guilt, and sadness, and…just…a pit.
I have decided that for the next week, I am going to try my hardest to not say that word.
It is forbidden.
It is evil.
It is a dangerous word.
A word that I will not say for the next 7 days.
Wish me luck.