Cupcakes.

My new life motto…

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Groundhog Day.

I finally watched Groundhog Day from start to finish.

I have started this movie several times, never finished it.

I usually would stop out of boredom about a 1/4 of the way through.

I promised Justin that I would finally finished it though.

And I did.

Hurrah!

In all reality, wasn’t that impressed.

Yes, there were a couple funny bits, like him punching the guy in the face.

And shoving a whole piece of angel food cake in his mouth.

I did read somewhere that the original script had the movie taking place over 10,000 years, but if that was the case then it would be as if he were dating a cave-woman, he would be so advanced.

Anywho, basically, I’m just really glad I finally finished this movie, can now claim I have finally seen it, and will hopefully never have to watch it again!

Peace out, RR.

What If? Living With Anxiety.

I recently started taking anxiety medication.

It is amazing how increbdily different I feel. I took some time to write down some thoughts over the first week.

…..

Anxiety is a worm. A worm that slowly, painlessly crawls its way into your body, brain and then eventually your entire body.

You don’t notice until it’s to late and by then, you’ve lived with it for so long it’s just a part of you.

It causes you to second guess everything. Everything. From grocery shopping, driving, getting dressed, showering, what time to leave, what you would do if you got there early, and everything in between.

What should you text that friend? Will they get the joke? Will they think it’s rude? Funny? That I’m stupid?

Can I speak up at work? Will that sound bossy? Bitchy? Will they think it’s stupid?

Should I put away the laundry tonight? If I do, I won’t get to sleep early, but if I don’t I will have to do it tomorrow which means what I had planned for tomorrow will get pushed back another day and then I won’t have time to grocery shop which will push back my meal prepping and I still need to shower and I really want to read more of my book and I just don’t know what to do.

I constantly felt like I was drowning, but felt that was normal and that everyone felt like that.

Like, everyone was worried about taking a shower. Worried about how badly I might itch. How hot or cold to make the water. How much shampoo and conditioner to use. What if a spider crawled out of the drain? What if I slipped and fell? Would Justin hear me screaming?

What if I watch movie X tonight, but end up regretting it and wished I would have watched movie Z instead? Maybe I should just watch movie Y? But then what if I hate movie Y?

There was always a ‘what if’ or a ‘but’ scenario in my head.

ALWAYS.

Should I sit in this chair or that chair?

Eventually that tiny worm starts eating away at every calm moment you could ever have.

It eats and eats and eats until everything important and healthy lives inside it.

So your thoughts and emotions are always moving, always churning around.

Justin calls me a cat, because I couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes. If I’m watching tv, i’m eating, reading a book, on Facebook, painting my nails, something. Sometimes several of those at once.

Always chewing on my fingers.

Usually bleeding from somewhere from pick a scab or scar or hangnail.

What if I try to buy groceries but my debit card doesn’t work, even though I know we have money in our account.

What if I trip while walking?

The one comfort in my life…my husband.

He has been my one constant. My safe harbor in the tsunami of my mind. His simple touch (without tickling) is a balm to my jittery body.

I never worry about saying something stupid, or doing something stupid around him. That is probably why I rarely shut up around him, because I can say anything.

I know he will never judge me. Laugh at me, yes. But never judge.

I went to the doctor a couple days ago and was put on an anxiety medication for the first time.

I’ve only taken one full dose of medication but I already feel much calmer.

This morning was amazing. I’ve been a little more jittery at night, but not as wishy-washy.

I very much look forward to the upcoming weeks.

As I sit at our new dining room table tonight writing about what my life has been like for the last several years, possibly decades. I am starting to feel a sense of calm. Peace.

I can stare at our centerpiece and just look at it. All I think about are the green stems, the white…ball things on the ends. The pretty white pitcher they sit in.

I sit here and cry at the first feeling of true peace that I can remember.

I can repeat a song on Spotify without the fear of missing an even better song that could be next. That next song will always be there.

A friend was sick and without hesitation I offered to drive her to Topeka for her Dr. appointment. While driving I never once had a twinge of anxiety.

Even just two weeks ago I would have felt sick myself at just the thought of driving in Topeka, let alone actually doing it.

I feel such a sense of freedom.

I feel absolutely free.

Insanity: Week 2.

Day 8 (Monday)

I didn’t get it done in the morning, but I got it done.

We weighed in today and I was very happy to know that my body fat went down and my muscle percentage went up! Which means that this (I hope) is working.

I have a completely different motivation this time, so i’m finding it much easier to do the workout everyday.

I no longer want to just use Insanity to ‘get ripped’ and what nots. I just want to finish the program! That’s it. If I do end up losing weight and gaining muscle with this, that’s just a bonus.

Day 9 (Tuesday)

I am getting so much better! Today was Pure Cardio. I hate pure cardio because there is no rest inbetween the different difficulty levels. Just go go go.

However…. today I actually did the entire level 1 warm-up all the way through! Last time I got through the first three without stopping, this time 7! I am pumped!

Day 10 (Wednesday)

A nice sweaty workout. Not a lot to comment on…

Day 11 (Thursday)

Ugh. I was not in a great mood this evening. Today was supposed to be Cardio Recovery, but I hate that day. It’s mostly stretching and what not.

I just really wanted to move! Be active!

So instead, I made my workouts work for me, and I did a Jessica Smith workout on YouTube. I LOVE her. Her videos are awesome!

I don’t feel like I cheated or betrayed my plan. Nope!

I feel good. I feel accomplished. I feel way better than I would have if I did my scheduled workout.

Sometimes you have to change things up. It was just for today. Tomorrow I will go back to the plan.

Day 12 (Friday)

Today was a bit crazy, so I decided to make Friday my rest day instead of Sunday.

Ya gotta make your workout work for you, so I did.

Day 13 (Saturday)

Well shit. I got sidetracked with a bunch of stuff and didn’t get my workout in today either.

Day 14 (Sunday)

Since I missed the last two days, I did two workouts today.

It was a tad rough. But I freaking did it.

Which means that Monday is the 2nd fit test. I really hope my numbers have improved at least a little bit.

Week 2 Results

This past week, I lost a smidge of weight but sadly my muscle and fat percentages had not improved.

I have a hard time eating after I do my workout, which means I’m probably not replenishing all the good nutrients and what not.

This next week will be better though.

Toto’s Tacoz!

People in the Manhattan, Wamego, or St. George area, and you love Mexican food..please please please go to Toto’s Tacoz in Wamego!

 

It was so delicious! It might be my new favorite Mexican food place in the area.

It feels a little bit like Chipotle, but more friendly, more fresh, and not as rushed, which I really enjoy.

They also have ‘light’ versions of a couple items which is amazing, because I can’t eat as much as my husband so I didn’t feel like I wasted any food.

My vote: the Yellow Brick Burrito.

Seriously, anything with cheese sauce and i’m there.

Please visit their website if you’d like to see their menu and more!

Insanity: Week 1.

Day 1 (Monday)

Today was the fit test. Yikes.

  • Switch Kicks: 33
  • Power Jacks: 30
  • Power Knees: 50
  • Power Jumps: 20
  • Globe Jumps: 5
  • Suicide Jumps: 5
  • Push-Up Jacks: 3
  • Low Plank Obliques: 16

I was literally dripping sweat afterwards, which was kind of nice. At least I knew I was doing something for sure.

I’m really hoping that I will actually wake up early tomorrow so I can get in the next workout before work. I think that will help me to actually make it through this program, if I can have my evenings open to do other things.

Day 2 (Tuesday)

Welp, I didn’t wake up at 6 like I had planned on. Which meant I had to do the Plyometric Cardio Circuit thing after our sand volleyball game.

It was brutal. I don’t know if I actually made it all the way through every workout set, but I did my best.

I was literally dripping sweat onto the kitchen floor (cause that has the most space).

I finished it though.

Day 3 (Wednesday)

ARGH! Once again, woke up late. I do love my snooze button.

I did today’s workout right after we got home from work. It was also brutal. I’m pretty sure they will all be like that.

Getting it done so early meant that I had time to make some light food to replenish my body, shower and watch a movie before my 9 p.m. bedtime.

I am freaking determined to wake up at 6 tomorrow to get my workout done before work!

Day 4 (Thursday)

I did it! I woke up early! Our…health coach (?) reminded me to try placing my phone, aka alarm, across the room which totally did the trick.

It was a cardio recovery day, which basically meant long slow holds of different moves.

I thought I would die during what felt like a 5 minute squat hold. I mean, in reality I think it was 16 seconds, but it felt waaaaaay longer.

I also did not sweat quiiite as much.

Day 5 (Friday)

Once again, I woke up early!! Today was a full cardio day and it. was. awful.

Ugh. Oh my gosh. I don’t think I made it completely through any workout section, I could only do a little bit of each of them.

I wasn’t really sweating much though, until the very very end.

For some reason, during the last stretch time, aaaalllll my sweat decides it’s time to leave and it just comes pouring out.

I’m feeling pretty good though.

Day 6 (Saturday)

I had some fun plans lined up for the day so I was planning on waking up early and getting my last workout of the week done around 8. Instead, I slept in a little bit longer because I figured I would have time in the evening.

Turns out, plans got switched around that afternoon and I knew I wouldn’t have time in the evening so I ended up doing this workout around 3, almost right after we had lunch.

The food had settled a bit by then so I felt pretty comfortable.

I was so PUMPED!! Normally during the warm-up section, I make it through the jogging portion okay, but have to stop halfway through the jumping jacks.

NOT TODAY!

Today I made it all the way through the jogging, the jumping jacks, AND the…heisman thing?

I WAS SO EXCITED!!

The rest of the workout went about the same though, touch and go, kind of did what I could while still managing to breath.

Still ended up very very sweaty in the end.

Sunday

Sunday is a rest day, so I went for a nice long 6 mile walk to just stay active.

Week 1 Results

  • Weight 8/20 / 8/27: 161.0 / 160.0
  • % Muscle 8/20 / 8/27: 24.8 / 25.3
  • % Body Fat 8/20 / 8/27: 41.7 / 40.8

Progress was made all across the board.

I felt pretty good all week. I wasn’t as sore as I have been in the past trying this program.

I feel like my legs are much, much stronger!

All in all, I look forward to next week. I’m curious to see what happens and how I progress during the second week.

Also, I am really not the most attractive sweaty person. That is not really part of my charm. 🙂 You’re welcome.

A Geek’s Wife.

I am a geek’s wife.

He is actually kind of a geek-jock, if that’s a thing?

My husband plays many video games such as WoW, Overwatch, Destiny, Final Fantasy, Diablo, etc. along with many sports. He is proficient at softball/baseball, volleyball, golf, tennis, kickball, dodgeball and probably more.

He loves Game of Thrones (as do I), Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter… you get the picture.

I knew this about him from the moment we met. I love the geeky side of him. The side that freaked out when WoW had the new release of…some thing. An expansion I guess?

I had started playing Diablo after we met and I got really into it for a while. But now it’s hard for me to sit down and play for any length of time, since I sit behind a computer for 8 hours a day at work.

World of Warcraft

I also tried to play World of Warcraft, but it’s just not really my thing.

However, I love, LOVE, the amazing cinematic video things they come out with. I get chills. Once I teared up. I get excited. I wish they would make full length movies of them. I would probably watch them all the freaking time.

Mind you, Justin is Alliance all the way. He absolutely hates the Horde, which is probably why I like the Horde more. Plus, sometimes it’s kind of fun being the bad guy.

But I mean, come on. Sylvanas is way cooler!!

FOR THE HOOOOORRRRRDDDEEEE!!!!!

Wow, I really got slightly off topic.

The point of this post was just to say that this section of my blog will be dedicated to life with a geek, who plays videos games every evening, but still makes time for me. I’m hoping to help other girls out there with guys who seem to love their computer more than them (they really don’t, I promise).

I will be writing advice and tips and so much more.

Just remember, you’re not alone. 🙂

Much Love, the Rebs.

Rain Rain Go Away…But Stay.

We had big plans for Sunday!

I was going to walk Linear Trail with my friend Elliot, while Justin mowed the yard.

Instead, it pretty much rained all. day. long.

Let’s face it though, I have a hard time remembering to water the plants in front of our house, which means that my mama-in-law gets mad at me.

So, the rain really helps with that, because at least I don’t have to remember to water them for a few days, especially if it rains us much as the forecast says it’s going to.

But, all that rain means I didn’t get to go for my walk and Justin only got the front lawn mowed.

So I got my grocery shopping and meal prepping done early.

But that also meant I got to take a lovely nap in the afternoon on our couch with the sound of the rain hitting the windows. It was quite peaceful.

Insanity…Again.

I have tried doing Insanity so many freaking times.

I bought it probably around 8 years ago? I remember feeling fat and out of shape and awful.

Oh man. If I could go back now, I would realize how amazing my body was.

Anyways, I’ve never actually finished it. I might have made it through 2 weeks before…maybe.

This time, I am seriously determined to finish it.

Which, in reality, i’ve probably said that before too.

I will be doing weekly check-ins, kind of as an accountability tool.

See how i’m feeling, if i’m actually doing it, any progress made, etc.

Wish me luck.

Ha! I don’t need luck.

Just kidding.

I could use lots and lots of it.

Let’s do this, RR.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

Bed Bath & Beyond.

Along with buying a house, we discovered we needed to buy everything that came inside of it. We spent much time in Bed Bath & Beyond, or the 3Bs as I call it.

We even signed up for the annual membership thing they have where you spend..I think $30 a year for 20% off every time you go in. It was rather helpful.

This is where we bought all our bedding, and curtains, and coasters, and so on and on and on.

One day, when we were wondering around trying to find something, we came across these pillows that we are assuming a bored young college kid must have made.

It seriously cracked me up!

Just wanted to share the love, please do not follow the instructions on the pillows!! Please! I beg of you! Do not.

♥ RR.

Flint Hills Foster Teen Camps & Chicken!

Flint Hills Foster Teen Camps Charity Softball Tournament Sign

A friend told me about a charity softball tournament for the Flint Hills Foster Teen Camps that was happening this past Saturday. However, I misunderstood the conversation just a tad and thought she asked us to be on her team. I didn’t really ask for super details at the moment. I heard ‘free softball’ and ‘free t-shirt’ and I was there!

What really happened was she had given me the number of the event coordinator and he put together a team of random misfits (which is what everyone called us, even though there was actually a team called The Misfits).

After waking up at 6:freaking:30 on a Saturday morning, we got our morning shake, picked up Justin’s brother and headed to Anneberg Park.

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We got our fun shirts and waited for the rest of the team to arrive. We didn’t know who they were, just that they had signed up to be on a team. It turns out they were a pretty fun group of people. We played at 8, 10, 11 and 2.

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It was pretty brutal. It’s been a few days and my legs are still so incredibly sore. I’m hoping after a couple more days they will be back to normal.

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My shins were in crazy pain after that many games of softball!

No one was actually expecting us to win, but the underdogs rule! However, by the time our 4th game came around, we were all pretty toast. We were down a girl, our first base-woman had a recently healed broken arm, our pitcher was practically throwing up from heat exhaustion, you get the point.

We lost, which we were kind of okay with. We moved to the loser’s bracket where we would have played the team that we run-ruled earlier in the day. We decided to give everyone a break and just forfeit. I haven’t checked, but i’m hoping that they ended up playing the team that beat us in the championship.

It was so much fun though! I really do love softball. I love the..sportsmanship, the skill (which I don’t particularly have), and all the other things I can’t really think of right now. Oh! The hot dogs! I absolutely love concession stand hot dogs.

The Chef is in the House

Anyways, after we got home, cooled off and showered, Jason (the brother from another mother, as I so fondly call him) came over to make some…Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Popper Stuffed Chicken!

He started with the jalapeno stuffing…. Sour Cream, Cream Cheese, shredded cheese, and some seasoning.

And then he took care of the spicy, spicy jalapenos.

Mind you, I say spicy twice because I have weak taste buds. Almost everything is spicy to me.

Next came the chicken. He cut a slice in the middle and somehow managed to get the jalapeno in there.

Are you guys ready? Are you? This next step is the best. The best best best!

BACON!!!!!!

Oh my gosh. It is impossible to describe how much I love bacon.

bacon

I love it so much, it got it’s own picture!!

Anyways, back to the point. He then wrapped the chicken in bacon!!!

We smoked them for about 2 hours, even though it felt like 20.

The end result though was amazing!

Num num num num num num num!!!

Finished Chicken
Yeah, the lighting is a little weird. Still trying to figure it out.

Some side notes…

justin
Look at this cutie!!…who absolutely HATES having his picture taken.

I love just holding my camera out and clicking a picture, seeing what happens. Which is how this came about…and then I realized, dang! my skin looks amazing. Thank you water (which I have recently started drinking a normal amount of after spending most of my life dehydrated).

me
But my God he is lucky to be married to me!!
feet
I also might need to paint my toenails again……

The Freezer.

When we got married and J moved to Marysville with me, he left his deep freezer at his old apartment with his brother. However, it did not get left open which means when we moved it to our brand new house (!!!!) it was rather moldy and smelled horrific.

So, we picked up some bleach, scrubby stuff and gloves, and he got to work! I’m very glad J ‘volunteered’ to clean it, because I really really did not want to.

RR.